“You Were Fine Before…”

I currently am 31 years old, and I weigh 89 pounds less than I did 6 months ago.

It didn’t happen through fad diets, pills, injections, weight loss surgery or making life miserable-although all of those options work for some people and that’s fine. If you follow this blog you will know how it happened-a transformation of lifestyle, a love of exercise and a self-awareness that even when we’re grown we can always keep growing. We just have to decide if we’re going to keep growing waistlines or growing in ways to make us healthier, better, stronger.

My husband and I about 2 1/2 years ago-both of us quite a lot heavier…..

I have been surprised on this weight loss journey on several occasions-the first time I tried vegan cheese and loved it. When I started running multiple miles a day, multiple days a week and loved that even more. And when I realized I am, for lack of a better word, “skinnier” now that I have been in over 15 years.

Still the same person-just happier, fitter and motivated to keep going.

One of the biggest surprises though came in the form of criticism. No, not from my fellow gym rats, not from “skinnier” people-but criticism from other curvy women. Women whom I used to be bigger than, or shopped for plus size clothes with, or who had gone on their own weight loss journeys-some succeeded. Some did not.

I never thought that the harshest criticism would come from the women I thought I shared a bond with-of being large women. But I have received it, “Well, I am still proud of MY curves” they have said when I have shared that I can get into the juniors section of clothes. Or, “I still love my blue cheese” when I rave about tastiness of coconut milk “nice” cream. Or, “Losing weight that quickly-you better keep exercising. I am happier being fat than flabby”.

“You were fine before,” is what I heard more than I thought I would. And if some feel that being a size 26 (which is what I was) is fine for them-then good for them. But it wasn’t fine for me. I know I was a beautiful, big woman. Now I want to be a beautiful, smaller woman who can run half-marathons and keep up with my family and not be out of breath all the time.

You will never convince me that being morbidly obese is  a better lifestyle than being fit-I can say, honestly, that it is not fun/cute/liberating/free to be out of breath and not able to run after your little boy. Or struggling to fit in an airplane seat. Or having to take a nap every day after work because you’re exhausted.

In our quest for self-love, there is an opportunity for the plus-size community to realize-if one of our sisters wants to change for their health and get out of the obese range-that’s not a crime. I have even had relatives ask me why did I “do this” to my husband-why did I “take away” his cheese, milk, bagels and chips? (The fact we both decided to do this together doesn’t seem to matter.) We did this because we wanted to be the best version of ourselves. We wanted to be able to enjoy each other, and our family, more than we were-because our “after” is better than our “before”.

Us now…healthier, still in love, looking cute and still drinking great beers. 🙂



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